Blogging for Books: Confessions of an Ex-Navy Wife

1. Move frequently, about every 4 years or so, and to never get to move where you want to be stationed until your last couple of years of service. They tell you to pick three places to move to on your billet. Murphy’s Law applies here. Where you want to go the least is where they send you. It’s magic. Trust me on this.

2. Have children quickly, or be asked to have children if you don’t have them going into the marriage. All the get-togethers for the boat, the command, etc. are family-friendly, and like your own family who are driving you batty asking when you’re “adding to the family”; the other military wives are asking too. A lot. If you aren’t child minded, be prepared to be ostracized from the group. It’s not intentional, it’s just how it’s set up.
3. Wait forever for military housing in lots of areas, and then once you get it; make immediate plans to move. Unless your base has upgraded the housing in their area, it was built back in the 1950’s, complete with rice paper walls with which you can determine with absolute certainty the date that your neighbors conceived their children. If you are the lucky lottery winner of one of these dwellings; also be prepared for appliances to be circa 1950’s or 1960’s and no dishwasher. (That’s a dealbreaker for me right there, folks.)
4. Be prepared for the local press to blame every bad thing that happens in the area on the military presence in their fair city/town/local environs; but when the government decides to close down your base, you then become a cause celebre, and townsfolk hail you with attention, affection, and parades. However, once the modified list of base closings is released, and your base is no longer on it (for now), things will go back to normal. Quickly too. This repeats every 4 to 8 years.
5. Wait in long lines at the PX (Military Shopping Mall), The Commissary (Grocery Store on Base), and the Military Hospital. Realize that prices at the places are awesome, but know that unless you line up first thing at the door on days when you know the delivery trucks are there; you will never get what you want at those prices. It’s like lining up the day after Thanksgiving every week, complete with pushing, shoving and hair pulling. It can be that bad, folks. Seriously.
6. Spend lots of time alone, because your spouse has duty, or is deployed, or has shift work. It’s a lonely job keeping those home fires burning, but hey, someone has to do it. If you decide you can’t stand it and you have to escape where other people congregate….
7. Don’t go to any bar, restaurant, dance club that is known by the names other than what the establishment is actually called. If a bar/dance club in your area is nicknamed Squids and Kids, you might want to consider staying away. With this one, comes the next one:
8. Don’t listen to gossip, and there will be plenty. Unless you see Betty Jo carousing while the hubby is deployed with your own two eyes; don’t start a rumor. Let her tell Jimmy Jo that it’s not working out.
9. Expect any paperwork you submit to the military to take twice as long to go through than in the civilian world. C’mon, what do you expect? This is the Government we’re talking about here! They run on their own time schedule.
10. Don’t forget to ask for help if you need it. Even with all the other crazy stuff, there are genuinely nice people who are willing and able to help you out in any way they can. A long time ago there used to be a commercial for the military that had the tagline “The toughest job you’ll ever love”. This applies most to military spouses. If you can make this lifestyle work, it has it’s rewards.

So I salute all those who have entered into military service, but don’t get all the same perks as their enlisted spouse. Ya’all are the backbone of the military, and don’t let anyone tell you different.

Now, hurry. The trucks just pulled up to the PX, and you need to be first in line.

Go get ‘em tiger!