CSI:Miami Viewing Made Easier
March 31, 2006
Because I’m a public service kinda gal, and I have personally had issues watching this show as of late; (how many scenes can David Caruso chew up? Shouldn’t there be a limit? A moratorium on this?)
It’s pretty bad, when you see one of your favorite actors, Gary Sinise, start affecting the mannerisms of one Horatio Caine on his own spin-off show, CSI:NY. So, since this has become a full-blown epidemic with no signs of slowing, I give you this handy technique to help the viewing of this show go down that much easier.
Besides, if you have to suppress the gag reflex, shouldn’t it be for a better cause?
I found this thanks to weaker-vessel, whom I hope to meet one day. Thank you!
Also, thanks to LAist for the “research”.
Get your favorite beer* ready. (We thought about playing this with hard liquor, but that would be begging for alcohol poisoning before the first commercial break, so beer is the drink of choice for the Caruso.)
1. Drink a sip every time someone calls him “H” not “Horatio”
2. Take one swig every time H places his arms akimbo (on his hips).
3. Take two swigs when Horatio takes his sunglasses off for dramatic effect.
4. Likewise, take two swigs when Horatio puts his sunglasses on for dramatic effect.
5. Take three gulps when H wears a dark blazer in the middle of an investigation. (Hello, pastels…this is hot and humid Miami, Crockett and Tubbs land, remember).
6. Drink for four counts when he addresses Jonathan Togo’s character as “?Mr. Wolfe.”?
7. Drink for five counts when he’?s talking and his head is tilted at a 45-degree angle. (Don’?t forget to add another count if he has his arms akimbo at the same time.)
8. Drink for six counts when the camera films him entering the scene from a low angle for dramatic effect. Some games refer to this as the “Horatio-as-Christ” shot. (Is this because heÂ?s short? IMDB lists him as 5’11″.?)
9. Drink for seven if you ever see him smile. (This is extremely rare, but it does happen on occasion.)
10. Guzzle the entire can/bottle/glass when an incredibly hot babe hits on Horatio. Cause, really, she must have the beer goggles on. Or we should put them on in order to buy it.
If you aren’?t a fan of CSI: Miami, trust us, you will be after one round of Caruso playing. Oh yeah, and it really helps if you don’t have to be anywhere early on Tuesday morning. Bottoms up!
Feel free to add your own rules…
* Wine can be substituted for beer, but beer is the better option.
Enjoy and have a great weekend! See you on Monday!
March 31st, 2006 at 5:56 pm
What about drinking for the length of a dramatic pause? “Mr. Wolfe……………………..have you run those epithelials?
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April 1st, 2006 at 2:23 am
LOL
reminds me of the Dr. Who game we used to play in our college days.
I might just give it a try.
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December 12th, 2006 at 2:49 am
Hi there! Laura sent me! Seems we both get BUGGED by Mr. Caruso’s “acting”.
I haven’t watched the CSI:NY version, but if Sinise is emulating Caruso, you may have saved me some gagging.
I also peeve over the way “Calleigh” seems to be trying to be the “softest talker” on Earth.
So, umm, why am I still watching???
Nice to meet you!
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