Precious Moments

Taken last night as Scamp slept beside his archnemesis, Shady. Awwwww.

Family Fun Friday

We’re off tonight to a family restaurant, and then over to queue up with many other tourists and play some mini-golf.

This is the same mini-golf place the hubby and I went to the day after Christmas, 1993. It’s the first place we considered the idea we might be pregnant with Spiff. The grocery store conveniently located nearby provided us with the pregnancy test to confirm, that yes, we were with child.

That was 11 years ago.

Ah, memories.

We’re going to have a blast! Hope you and your family are going to have a great night.
Shabbat Shalom!

Has the World Lost Its Collective Mind?

I suppose the short answer to this is yes, if this article is any indication.

Yikes.

Dying Inside

Yesterday was “not a good day” for M at school. ( From now on, M would like to be known as Spaceman Spiff thanks to Calvin & Hobbes. Trust me, there are SERIOUS similarities between my son and Calvin.)

Let me preface this by saying that Spiff has problems understanding the dynamics of friendship; and the fact that you can have more than one friend at a time.

He has been getting gradually more agitated with one of his female classmates who he feels has stolen his friend. They are both girls, and in the 5th grade, girls tend to hang with girls; boys with boys. Spiff isn’t like that. He gravitates toward the girls, and they to him. This occurs because he isn’t into sports, like boys are at this age, he likes (read: loves) video games and talking all about them. (Yes, I know, I have spawned a geek. If you met me and my husband in real life, this would be understood immediately. We revel in our geekdom.) Girls also tend to be much more patient with Spiff; more willing to nurture him and try to work through his issues. Boys generally don’t have time for that. In that regard, my son is typical boy, through and through. He wants what he wants, and not right now, he wants it yesterday, when you had no idea he wanted it. It’s maddening, and my mother is getting her daily dose of laughter up in heaven at my expense, I assure you.

A new girl moved into Spiff’s class. She and he hit it off immediately, and spent many days at recess talking about a video game they both played on the GameCube, Tak. Spiff, not unlike his namesake, also likes to spend as much time as he can in imaginary worlds of his own creation; with some game stuff or TV show stuff thrown in for good measure. this new friend went along with it, and sometimes still does, but she’s a girl, and she wanted to meet and hang out with other girls. Enter two girls from Spiff’s class who sporadically spend time with him. The girls hit it off, and in time, they have drifted off into their own little gaggle. This greatly upsets Spiff, and he has accused one of the girls in particular in leading this new friend of his away. The reality is that yes, the girls like to spend time together, but they do include him every now and again; but here’s the rub, he can’t dictate the play. So when that happens, he leaves and doesn’t understand (at that moment) that he has to join in to stay with the girls. Then he gets mad and starts accusing the one girl of stealing his friend, because he no longer has her undivided attention.

(I know this is wordy, bear with me.)

All the behaviors I have laid out here are textbook Asperger’s. We have tried to work with him, spent money to have others help him with this; and it’s not sticking. At all. And there, as of yet, are no support programs in place in the school to assist with this in real time, as it happens.

This is where an aide would be crucial. Do I have an aide, you ask? Ummm…no. No, I don’t.

Anyway, I digress.

Spiff decided that yesterday he had had enough. He proceeded to verbally attack the girl who has frustrated him, saying things to her and about her that were not vulgar, they were just not very nice. His teacher had to separate him from the class, she was so surprised with his outburst. This was behavior she had never seen before.

I have though, and I have tried to warn the school this could happen if we didn’t intensively work with him on behavioral issues. I’m sure you can see how successful I have been in them taking heed. It boggles the mind.

Please understand, Spiff is not violent. He’s a gentle soul that has absolutely NO comprehension and understanding of emotions and behavior. He’s one of those people that you know or have heard about that “wear their heart on their sleeve”. He bares it all, people. His frustration about an issue is readily apparent, even if most people can keep that stuff inside, he can’t. Not that he won’t, he can’t. He just doesn’t know how to do that on a regular basis without cues and assistance. Not to mention, at the end of the day, he’s shot. He’s worked so hard all day to conform to the standards of school that come easily to everyone else.

I understand why he does what he does. I just don’t know how to stop it or at very least help him deal better.

I know, I’m venting. But people, I’m scared. And I know his behaviors are to some degree what every 11 year old are. But with Asperger’s, we get ‘extra’ behaviors. We get lack of understanding of many things, behaviors and what to say do and feel.

I’m so scared. I’m so frustrated. I don’t know what I should do first. (trust me, I have ideas, I’m just not sure where to start or if they’ll fly.)

I need a Hobbes right about now.

Bathing Suit Bliss

I found a suit!!! Target didn’t let me down. I’m usually a J. Crew kinda gal, their bikinis are awesome, year after year. I still have a red one from (I think) three years ago.

You know you have a great bathing suit when you can’t even remember when you got it.

Target, however, has solved my current dilemma.

I had surgery over a month ago to remove my gallbladder that left me with 4 incisions on my torso. The doctor has requested that I do not expose those incisions to the direct sun for about a year to avoid the risk of sun cancer. Seeing as I have only bikinis, this could be a problem.

We’re going to Fort Lauderdale in April for spring break. I know, I’m starting my kids out early to enjoy spring break debauchery. I’m cool like that. (The reality?: We’re going to a private resort far away from the madding crowd. The only excitement I expect to have is the cabana boy bringing me and my family sustenance while we frolic in the surf. That, and teaching Scamp (formerly R) to enjoy the water again. Good luck to me, huh?)

But I digress.

Here it is in all it’s glory. I’m so excited! Is it April yet?

Yay Target!!! And a big thank you goes out to the fine ladies at Slave to Target who showed me how to have a little Red Cart Romance every day. Go check ‘em out!

now, I’m off to swan around the house in my new swimsuit.

Currently Doing Research

I’m doing some research to find out what all my rights are in regards to M’s “educational experience”; and to see what I have to gather for my battle to get the aide hired and put into M’s class. The hiring process that my county has is whacked-out; and it explains a lot as to why nothing gets done quickly or at all.

It’s incredibly frustrating. And annoying.

Truth be told, I’m scared. I’m scared that if the administrations and county leaders don’t listen and work with kids like M; kids who are smart and should be in a mainstream classroom; kids who test well; they will have more kids who either commit suicide later on or bring weapons to school to defend themselves against situations they don’t understand and haven’t been adequately taught how to deal with IN REAL TIME. See, that’s the key. I can send my son to program after program, spend thousands of dollars to teach him what to do in certain social situations, but he doesn’t apply those lessons in real time without cues and modifications. They can give him a written test on what to do in those situations, and he can answer them beautifully, but does he do it right in real time? Well…sometimes. Mostly, though? Not really.

Unless he gets these lessons, in real time, intensively…. well, the next 7 years scare me to death. Everyone knows that the school years for middle and high school are brutal, but for kids like M, they are even more so.

All I’m trying to be is a pro-active parent that assists the schools my son attends to better his (and his classmates’) academic experience. I thought that was what the schools want from their parents. It continues to frustrate me that the reality is that schools want my involvement to bring in snacks, read stories, organize functions and raise money; but if I actually take an interest in my child’s ACTUAL education?

Um….thanks, but no thanks.

What’s up with that?

So this is my battle. Hopefully, in the end, I will win the war.

Every Family Should Have an Aunt Pam in it…

I’m so glad ours does. I’m blessed and honored that I have inherited her from my husband and his family.

This is one amazing lady. She is wise, and plays the guitar beautifully. I always enjoy our conversations, and look forward to the time we’ll meet again, so we can discuss more. She steps out of her comfort zone regularly; and learns about this great big world and everyone in it. She gives of herself to her friends, family, neighbors, strangers. She impresses me with her insight, her wit, and her talent.

She’s making an album of songs that are religious in nature (Christian) and selling it to raise funds for a friend of hers who needs a special van so she can be more self-sufficient. Not that it matters, but her friend she’s raising funds for is Jewish.

I just think that is so cool. Don’t you?

I’ve heard some early cuts of her songs. She has a rich voice, very folksy and perfect. It’s gonna be a great album, and it’s for a great cause. Watch this space.

She’s a great lady, and I’m inspired and awed by her.

Plus she bakes bread and makes turkey soup that will rock your socks.

Thank you Pam. For everything.

Planning to Never Leave the House Again

Holy Cannoli, people!!!! There are some crazy drivers out on the roads today!

So I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it, but my husband has been working from home for approximately 3 months now. This senario has its pros and cons, mostly pros like this one: We get to go run errands and pick up lunch at, say, Ruby Tuesday. (Note to RT: The new burgers, while tasty, have WAY too much pepper on/in them. Gack!) On the way to get our lunch, we almost died like 4 times. Someone came to a dead stop in the middle of the highway because they wanted to get over to make a left hand turn!!!

There are several villages missing some idiots today!

_______________

Yesterday, I took M to the hospital to have some blood drawn. Every now and again, he has to have blood drawn for testing so we can see what’s going on chemically with him. We hadn’t done it in awhile, and the last time he had blood drawn was not a great experience. It was so not great that he swore he would never have it done again. So when his new doctor requested he do this again, he was unhappy to say the least. The irony here is that the doc in question is a psychiatrist, who asked right after telling him that he would have to have blood drawn; “So, is there anything you are anxious about, M?” (I about died laughing, and had to turn away so they couldn’t see me. Tears were forming. It was hilarious.)

Ummmmm….yeah…..he could be a little stressed about it.

So we waited about a month before we finally got a chance to get this done. In that month, my son stressed, and stressed, and when he was done with that, he stressed some more. Finally I just gave him a date and said, that’s the day. It was after FCAT, and on a 4 day weekend.

So we went. We got almost all the way through registration until they found out he didn’t fast. Unfortunately, the doc only gave me a prescription with what needed to be done, and no directions so I didn’t know he needed to fast.

This meant we had to come back the next day.

My poor child, who stresses over just about everything, has an extra day to freak out.

The next morning dawned, and off we went to get this done. Got through registration (again), and headed to the lab to get the blood drawn. When we arrived, the technician I recognized as the one who drew my blood recently before my surgery. I told M that he would be in great hands, this guy was a great vampire.

My son, stressed to the max, begins to break out in SONG about what his rules are about drawing blood. They are as follows:

1. Don’t take too long.
2. Only use small needles.
3. Don’t take too much blood.
4. Don’t stick the needle in too deep.

Once that grammy winning performance ended, we got down to business. It took 4 people to do this, not including the one who’s blood they were drawing. They used a butterfly needle, which I highly recommend. The hardest part was settling him down, once we got the needle in (first try!! YAY!!) it was a piece of cake. He even watched the vials fill up. It was a HUGE victory for him.

His daddy would be so proud he watched the vials fill up. He does that when he gets blood drawn.

So, end result, M feels better about getting blood drawn now, Mommy got him Dunkin Donuts for breakfast on the way to school, and we don’t have to do this for long while (I hope).

All I have to say is I hope those lab techs don’t move away or I’ll be in deep trouble with my son the next time we have to go do this.

They rocked!

_______________

Trying to find a bathing suit that I’m willing to wear on or beach trip for Spring Break. Not having much luck at my fave store, Target. But this one, this one and this one look good. The prices don’t, but they do. Not sure I would ever go out in public in this one; and worried about the tan lines with this one.

Why are bathing suits so damned expensive?

Blogging for Books: Confessions of an Ex-Navy Wife

First of all, this post is brought to you by the fabulous Mir, who’s blog WouldaCouldaShoulda is one of my daily reads. She enlightened many of us to this Blogging 4 Books contest.

This months topic is about the military, and what you can post about it is pretty broad spectrum. Since I was a Navy Wife in a past life marriage, I do have some experience about military life from a civilian perspective. And what a perspective it is! Not only did I marry into the military, but when I divorced the first one, I then married an ex-Navy 2nd Class Petty Officer who “did his time” and never looked back.

Needless to say, I got smarter the second time around.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-military. It just takes a special (read: strong) kind of person to marry into the military. So in that vein; I’d like to provide a guide for those who might be thinking of “joining the ranks” and becoming a military spouse. This is geared mostly towards women, but it can apply to husbands too.

Weekend Wonderfulness, now with more bullets!

So, this weekend new lands were discovered, fortunes gained and spent, countries overthrown, etc., etc.

Now here’s what happened in my world this weekend:

• Played D&D twice, once on Friday night and once on Saturday night. I don’t think this is what God intended for me when he said we should spend the Sabbath with family, but at the same time, I am sitting at a table with my husband, my brothers, and good family friends, so maybe he has been trying to tell me this all along….

• Took a newly 4 year old shopping for new sneakers at Payless. Why you ask? Because he needed them, and the back up pair was the lace kind and when the Pre-K teacher whom you love with all of your heart for “schooling” your son politely requests velcro-style shoes; well, you step to it and go get the kid a pair! These are Darth Vader ones, and fortunately we were able to leave before he got his head stuck in one of the nifty shoe displays.
• Ordered the party sandwich platter from Subway near my house. Not as good as the in-town Subway, so the extra trip is apparently worth it. Thanks to George Bush, and gas prices, these are things I have to consider before getting behind the wheel of my car. Pathetic.
• Went for the first swim of the year at my in-laws lovely, heated pool. Quickly ascertained that R has an unnatural fear of water he didn’t used to have. This does not bode well for our spring break trip to a beach resort in Fort Lauderdale. Uh-oh.
• Nearly passed out from the Sunday viewing goodness that is now The Sopranos, Grey’s Anatomy, Big Love, and The L Word. If they bring back Rome on Sunday nights, I can die happy. My TiVo is-a smokin’ from all the recording it has to do.
• Bought new bras. I know, that’s the information you were really waiting for, right there.

Inquiring minds and all that.

So, what did you do?