On Mother’s Day Memories, Past and Present…
May 15, 2006
Typically for Mother’s Day. I like to spend most of the day in bed. Not because I’m a lazy slob or anything, because that couldn’t be further from the truth.
(My father-in-law and I joked this weekend that my mother-in-law and I would be the only two people he knows that would be in our coffins, swishing a hand around still cleaning.)
I like to stay in bed because Mother’s Day is really hard for me. It’s one of many days a year the reminds me in an assault-like way, that I no longer have my mother with me. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the fact that I am a mom now, and I appreciate and love what my kids surprise me with, but deep down inside all day while I’m calling all the other moms in my family, there’s one call I can’t make, and it kills me.
My mom died when I was 19 years old, so she has missed out on a lot. I’m reminded of that on this day, and the fact that I can’t thank her for all that she did to help make me into who I am today. I would like so much for her to enjoy her grandsons, and the husband that I’m certain she would have adored. (The first one? Not so much.)
Sunday was a beautiful day. It was the culmination of a hectic weekend of helping out my mother-in-law and her ballet school’s Spring Performance. Friday was Dress Rehearsal night, and Saturday was the Matinee Performance. It was beautiful, as usual. I am in awe of my mother-in law when I see her teaching and in “performance mode”. She could coax a cactus to put their needles away so she could give it a hug. She’s that good.
Sadly, she hasn’t been feeling very well, and has been pushing herself so she wouldn’t let her kids down by having to cancel the performance. The entire family has been very worried, so while we were there to help with the performance; we were also there to make sure she could take it as easy as she could so she didn’t collapse. Thankfully, she didn’t, and the show went on. Even with all of that going on “behind the scenes”, it was so great to spend time with her and my father-in-law. Not to mention, because my brother watched the kids so Hubby and I could go do this, we got to have a romantic outdoor lunch of Tijuana Flats’ tacos at the picnic tables outside the Performance Hall. It was Nirvana, with a capital N.
Sunday, Mother’s Day, Mom-in-law and I had plans to go see the Orlando Ballet‘s Dance It Up!. We ended up going, even though she wasn’t feeling 100%. She wanted to do it for her, and once we got there and the show started, I could understand why. It was spectacular, and made me very excited for the new season. It also made me very sad, because these are exactly the types of things that had things gone differently in my parent’s marriage; my mom and I would have done outings like this. It was a bittersweet moment. A beautiful, bittersweet moment.
After the performance, we went backstage to meet the Artistic Director who has known my mother-in-law for many years. I felt honored to be in their presence, not because of their accomplishments in the ballet world, but that two people have remained such close friends for as long as they have, and genuinely enjoy their bond. It made me appreciate the bonds of family and friendship I have in my life, and it made me miss my mother.
So on the way home, I decided to treat my mother-in-law to a Starbucks Frappuccino. On the way, I took her by the house I lived in with my mother so she could see it. I had never done that before, and I wanted to share that moment with her, and I wanted to remember, and honor my mother who should have been there with us; who should have been here all along enjoying the return on her hard work and sacrifice.
My mother-in-law appreciated the invitation into my moment.
She also appreciated the Frappuccino. So did I.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. We miss you so much. We love you even more.
