Good Thing I’m a Chained-At-Home-Mom

So the dryer thing.

I had to call Sears to come out and fix my dryer. HAD to. I needed dry clothes, and I needed them yesterday. So I called, and the lovely customer service people told me they would come out the next day, and an automated message service would call me to tell me the time window to expect the repair guy to show up.

Did you know that Sears has a rollicking sense of humor? I had NO idea. Until yesterday.

My phone rings and the message tells me that the repair guy will be at my house between the hours of 8am and 5:30pm.

Umm, that’s a rather big window. That would make, say, working a rather difficult task. It might also make an “Afternoon Delight” rather difficult as well…

…okay, not as difficult as I first thought.

Because the Sears guy didn’t show up until 6:00pm! Granted, he fixed my dryer, to which I will be eternally grateful, but DAMN! He didn’t even show up during the window Sears gave me!

Still, I have dry clothes now, and I’m satisfied. We all win!

What We Have Here, Is A Failure To Communicate

So yesterday we went out to Uncle A’s new house to help put together some of his new furniture (which looks very nice, if I do say myself). Spiff missed most of school on Monday, due to his accidental mixing of his morning and nighttime medication. It doesn’t pose a health risk, it just makes him very drowsy at a time when he needs to be awake. So he needed to come home and sleep off the effects. This also meant that he needed to make up the work he missed. This meant homework, and lots of it.

When Spiff arrived home, he informed me that he had some good news, and then some bad news. Being a mom, I wanted to hear the bad news first. Apparently he sat in another seat for a group project that someone else wanted to sit in, and he was threatened by that child. As I asked important questions to dig deeper for more information, it quickly became apparent that he didn’t know the child’s name who threatened him, or very many kids in any of his classes for that matter. He did tell his aide about the incident, which was good, but soon the aide will be giving Spiff more autonomy at school and it concerns me that Spiff doesn’t even know some of the student’s names in his classes. So we had a talk about that, but I’m worried that I’m not getting through to him. Based on some of the answers he gave me during our discussion, I’m right in my concerns.

While we were at Uncle A’s, the boys brought their GameBoys to play. We have several games to play on these things, but inevitably both boys want to play the same game, in this case it was Super Mario Brothers 2. Much bickering and arguing ensued, and The Hubby, who was putting together chairs that at one point we thought might make great kindling, lost his mind. Spiff says he heard a noise coming from the GameBoy Scamp was playing, and wanted to fix it. So what did he do? Instead of asking his brother to see it for a minute, he rips it out of his hands, which begins a period of screaming and yelling from Scamp that can peel paint off walls and kill small dogs.

The Hubby lost his shit, folks. I can’t say I blame him.

Cut to Spiff cowering in a corner, now crying because it’s never pretty when Daddy loses it. However, the fun wasn’t over yet. Spiff is still trying to argue that all he was trying to do was help, and that his father doesn’t understand. The reality is that we do understand, we were just appalled at the way he went about trying to fix the problem by ripping the toy out of his brother’s hand without explaining or even simply asking his brother if he could hold the toy for a minute. (unfortunately for Spiff, he’s done that before, and he has a tendency to not give the item back once he has it, so I can understand why Scamp might be a little skeptical about Spiff’s intentions)

Spiff because he is a 12 year old boy and because of his Asperger’s, is very ego-centric. It’s all about him, folks. His brother can cut himself and bleed right next to him and Spiff will ignore him if he is doing something that is more interesting to him; even though his brother could be crying right beside him. He won’t get help, he’ll just tune it out. This exact senario happened last night before they went to bed. It can become very frustrating when trying to explain things to him, we both end up becoming exasperated, most of the time for different reasons.

This morning, Spiff says he’s sorry for yesterday, and because I want to know from him exactly what he is sorry for I ask. He then tells me that he is sorry that we (read: the Hubby and I) made he and Scamp feel like idiots.

Methinks he’s not getting the message here.

This means that I now have to explain AGAIN what happened, and why it went down the way it did, and the cues he missed while it was happening so that he could have avoided the situation getting to the point it did. I then had to explain that it’s hard when a 12 year old sometimes can’t act any better about sharing than his 4 year old brother.

I’m at a loss. I don’t know what to do to help him understand simple cues that will help him understand situations better; help him understand that his continuing to explain WHY he did something (that he ultimately gets in trouble for) only makes the situation worse for him; that it’s important to get to know the names of people you see every day on the off chance you may need to get help from them at a later time; and that just because someone wants you to do something with them doesn’t mean that they are trying to boss you around. Just when I think we have clicked and it looks like he understands me, we wind up back at square one soon after.

I’m tired of this dance. I want to teach him some new steps.

Then I want them to stick. And soon. Before I lose my mind.

I’m Sandra Lee to Mir’s Emeril…

So while hanging ten on the waves of the blogosphere yesterday, I read this post by Mir over at Woulda Coulda Shoulda. See, I’m a sucker for cookies, and these cookies seemed right up my alley. Not to mention, I actually have several bags of Orange Flavored Craisins in my house because, well, we inhale them. We love them so much, we think that they should only make this flavor. Forever.

We’re wierd. But we have a pool and the kids are cute. It all evens out.

So I was perusing the recipe. It calls for bananas, which I don’t have. I Don’t have any rolled oats either. It’s not a staple we keep in my home. I’m also lacking shortening. Everything else, though, I have….I think.

So as I slowly watch my dream of yummy cookies slip into the ether, I suddenly jump up and run to the kitchen, open up my lazy susan cabinet (doesn’t everyone have one of these?) and spot a bag of oatmeal cookie mix on the bottom shelf. I immediately grab the bag of Craisins and realize my dream of cookies is in reach.

So this is my recipe for oatmeal orange cookies, sans banana.

Shash’s No Time To Actually Bake Cookies Recipe

1 Bag of Betty Crocker Oatmeal cookie mix
1 Bag Orange Flavored Craisins (use only half for the cookies, and eat the other half while the cookies bake)
1 Egg
1 Stick butter
1 TBSP water

Mix according to package directions, add in Craisins. Bake according to package directions.

Cool on your cookie cooling rack. Eat several at one sitting.

Better yet, substitute your breakfast with a few. I did.

Thanks, Mir, for the recipe!

Because Reading is Fundamental…And Should Be Up To You

So, two of my favorite bloggers, Mocha Momma and MissZoot have brought to my attention that there are still banned books lists that people aren’t supposed to read.

Several of my favorites are actually on these lists; and like MissZoot mentioned, I, too, learned about sex by reading Judy Blume. I also learned about it by reading my mom’s Danielle Steel novels, but Judy’s stories seemed to be less bodice-ripping and much more realistic. It definitely helped to have read Judy Blume prior to losing my virginity, and I’ll leave it at that. Forever should be required reading to all teenagers. But that’s me.

When discussing this with my son, I’m going to have to tell him that one of his favorite series of books, the Captain Underpants series, was placed on the list in 2005 due to content. I have to wonder if Mr. Pilkey has sent the people who felt it necessary to place him on this list flowers. This will only ratchet up his cool quotient. I wonder if the people who bothered to do this understand that the audience Mr. Pilkey is catering to enjoys this brand of humor. There are probably many people that regret not doing these books themselves.

Personally, if books are to be banned, it should be based on reading difficulty. If this was the case, Brave New World would have topped my list*. I read this in 11th grade, and to this day, I never would have figured this thing out without Cliff’s Notes. Do they still have these? For this book, those were incredibly helpful. I could also guess that if I had whatever Aldous Huxley was ingesting while he wrote it so that I, too could join him on that strange trip would have helped. However, I’m going to hazard a guess that they were (and still are) illegal, so I’ll just leave that trip to him as a solo voyage.

As I read over this list of Banned and/or Challenged Books from the Radcliffe Publishing Course Top 100 Novels of the 20th Century, I’m struck by the amount of books that are on this list that I have read either in classes or on my own. A few have been made into movies of varying greatness. I’m shocked! shocked! I tell you to find Ernest Hemingway** listed many times in this list. (insert sarcastic tone here)

I’m struck by the fact each of these books have amazing stories to tell in their own way. The reasons given for many of these books being banned make me laugh, because in many cases the reason they are banned has very little to do with the actual story the book is trying to tell.

Spiff is just beginning to have a desire to write books, and his first attempts have been funny, and cute, and well, he has a long way to go before being published. But he could be published someday. However, I know it would just kill him if whatever he may write was viewed as needing to be banned because someone didn’t agree with how he worded something in Chapter 2 that really played a small part in the overall story, but still needed to be written to convey the emotion of the moment, or even the intensity of the situation.

Books are crucial to our livelihood, whether it is in the reading or the writing. We need these books if only to have them available for us when we are ready to receive them. It’s not up to anyone else as to what I (or you) should read. It is up to you.

That’s the point.

Now, go read a banned book. You know you want to. I’ll be looking into #58 for Spiff, #51 I’ll be reading with Scamp (Shel RULES!!!), and I’ll go ahead and be honest and say that I actually bought #18 when it was first released. I don’t think I have it anymore. My hubby re-reads all of #48 in anticipation of the final book to hopefully being released soon. We’ve already read many of this list and even own copies that make up our family library.

We’re a family of rebels, what can I say?

*Apparently, Brave new World is a banned book. Click here to read more about why. Let’s just say it has nothing to do with my reasoning.

**I really like his stories, and have read several of them. He’s someone who didn’t really care about conformity in his own life, so it only speaks to why his stories found their way on this list. Sad, really.

Crisis at the CrazedMommy Casa

My dryer ran all night.

Not because any of my children were sick, no, that would be too easy.

My dryer ran all night because, bless it’s heart, it was trying to dry my clothes.

Someone forgot to tell the heating element in the dryer that it actually, say, needed to work.

This is my brand new dryer, just barely a year old. The last one was banished for trying to burn the clothes it was drying. That, and it made a horrific squealing sound. When we decided to get all DIY up in here, well, a new dryer was needed.

As you can see, we will not be moonlighting as the fix-it folks.

So right now, I have clothes hanging to dry all over my house. It looks like a laundromat in here.

Just don’t hang anything on the TV. I have shows to watch.

Go Ahead, Call Me A Bad Mom…I Don’t Care

I’m apparently a bad mom because I’m not cool enough.

I don’t let my 12 year old watch the cool shows like Family Guy, American Dad, and anything on Adult Swim.

(It might have something to do with the fact that he’s far from the Adult part in Adult Swim, but that could just be me.)

I also don’t take him to see just released movies like Jackass2, where people humiliate and mutilate themselves for sport. We can do that at home for free, why would I pay to watch someone else do it?

Besides, I’m not interested in lining the pockets of Johnny Knoxville and Bam Margera.

So, because I don’t do this, my son isn’t cool, and he doesn’t have things to discuss with his peers since he’s not up to date on what’s cool, what’s hip, (what’s dumb, if you ask me…) what’s happening in kids cool.

I’m not willing to dumb down my son in order for him to achieve coolness. It’s not fair to him to have to do that to fit in.

Fortunately for me, he could care less.

This week, anyway. I’m sure that day is coming soon when he begins to hate me for not letting him do something that I disagree with.

In the meantime, I’m glad we’re on the same page. Why rush the growing up? He’ll be there soon enough.

Little League Baseball, Sopranos Style

Last Friday, just before we departed for Saratoga, The Hubby called me into the office to show me an article he was reading on ESPN.com.

A T-Ball coach, Mark R. Downs Jr., was accused of offering an 8-year-old money to bean an autistic teammate so he couldn’t play was convicted Thursday of two lesser charges against him, and evaded more serious charges. A jury convicted 29-year-old Mark R. Downs Jr. of corruption of minors and criminal solicitation to commit simple assault, Fayette County authorities said. Downs was acquitted of criminal solicitation to commit aggravated assault, and jurors said they were deadlocked on a charge of reckless endangerment. The judge declared a mistrial on the endangerment charge…

He paid one of his players, one of the victim’s teammates, $25.00 to do the dirty work. He just paid the child to do it for him. The child who he paid did, in fact, do the assault, but then decided that he did wrong and agreed to testify against the coach.

I’m having a hard time deciding who I am angrier at, the coach or the child to did the assault. I’m pretty mad at both, and feel both should be punished for this.

I am still seeing red, for many reasons. First, that a child was hurt so that he would be unable to play ball. Then I am mad because a coach felt that this child didn’t deserve to be on his team. Not to mention that this coach asked one of his players to hurt a fellow teammate; and then THAT CHILD agreed with the coach’s assessment of the situation and agreed to carry out the requested task.

I’m heartened to learn that the child who inflicted the harm had an epiphany and told of what he did, however, I can’t help but wonder why that epiphany happened AFTER the deed had been carried out. I also understand that to a 9 year old, $25 is definitely enticing. Did this child really understand right from wrong? I see the behavior of the coach is wrong, that is pretty straightforward. (I also hope the coach sees what he did was wrong, but somehow I doubt it, since his lawyer is saying they will appeal the judge’s ruling).

I’m sure the Autistic child was able to tell who did this to him, but the only one on trial for this was the coach. The perpetrator testified against him, and I’m sure a deal was struck. Or I’m sure people felt that he was just a pawn of the coach, and that the adult, being the mastermind, should receive the punishment.

I don’t agree. I feel the child who threw the ball at his teammate deserves to be held accountable for what he did, and be reminded what he should have done instead. This is a prime opportunity for teaching a valued lesson.

As a parent of an Autistic child, I will be the first to say that I have more difficulty with adults and their perception of my son than I do with kids and their perceptions. However, I have met children who feel that my son “deserves what he gets”, and what they determine he should get isn’t very nice. He’s been picked on because of his differences, and I have been privy to overheard conversations where kids have said some hurtful things about my son, but never did they say they wanted to hurt him physically. I’m sure there are kids that would hurt him if they could, he is what some would consider an easy mark. However, the majority of kids that meet Spiff find something about him that they like, or they tolerate his “uniqueness”. Or, they work around him, assigning him a task that plays to his strengths.

The coach didn’t want to play to the Autistic child’s strengths. The child who hurt his teammate did not appreciate the autistic child’s uniqueness. Where did that lesson come from? Was it taught because the game he was playing is more important than the lesson of teamwork? Was the winning at any cost more important to not only the coach, but the family that this child comes from? Somewhere, this child has learned, and accepted wholeheartedly, that anyone who is different than he is deserves to be “taken out” or is not a valued member of a team that he is a participant of.

That is a travesty.

The coach may have had the plan, but this child had the mindset to execute it already in place. He was not a victim or a pawn. He was a willing participant, until he got caught. The sad truth is that the child who threw the ball and injured his teammate wanted to do this, he just didn’t want to pay for his crime. To me, there is a feeling of pointing fingers on the part of the child who threw the ball. “Yeah, I did it, but he MADE me”. Did he hold your arm? Did he adjust your hand just so around the ball? I don’t think so. The time for being righteous was after the coach asked you to do this, and BEFORE you threw that ball. By coming clean now, after the fact, and blaming the coach, you are not accepting responsibility for your part in this, and make no mistake, it is just as big as the coach’s.

I really hope the Bowers family sue the coach and the child who hit him in civil court for emotional distress and damages. They really should. While the jury believed that “serious bodily harm” was not committed, I definitely feel emotional harm was done. Then, the boy who hit his teammate needs to go for sensitivity training along with the coach. Some community service would be helpful too, working with kids of varying exceptionalities in an after school program or Special Olympics. I think that would help him gain a better understanding of what it means to be a part of a team.

We all are on the same team, people. We need to teach our children tolerance of others, and we need to be more tolerant of others. Stop teaching hate and division. It hurts you as much as it hurts others.

Rodney King might have been stoned out of his mind when he said it, but he had the right idea:

“Why can’t we all just get along?”

It’s a pretty simple, straightforward concept. It has many rewards. What do you have to lose?

Seeing Saratoga Through Our Eyes…

We’re back!!! And a great time was had by all…

THE HIGHLIGHTS:

Seeing things like this…

We don’t have these in Florida…

And…

• Having dinner delivered from The Old Bryan Inn, where they have the best fish and chips I have ever had in my life.
• Grabbing a morning coffee at Uncommon Grounds, a local-run coffeeshop on Broadway Street in Saratoga.
• Spending the morning wandering the main street of Saratoga, taking photographs and having a blast with your family.
• Stopping into G.Whillikers, a toy store that had those green Army guys for Scamp. That made his day.
• Watching a cannon go off and muskets fire at a Revolutionary War re-enactment.
• Going to Saratoga Spa State Park and having a Mineral Bath and be treated like royalty, but actually only spending $20. Awesome!
• Surprising The Hubby with decadent desserts from Mrs. London’s Bakery.
• Spending time with friends and a big bounce house.

But most of all, getting to take photos like this one:

It was a great vacation, but we are glad to be home!

On a side note, we watched the show $40 a Day with Rachael Ray before going to Saratoga, and she profiled a few of the local eateries. We decided to try out the ones she suggested with a few modifications. We did Leon’s (mexican) and Mrs. London’s (dessert), but skipped Putnam Market and One Caroline Street. With just the ones we did, it was well over $40 for the day. It was well worth it, but definitely more than $40.

See the rest of the photos from our trip on Flickr.

It was my turn to get sick this trip, and I did it in grand style. We think I got food poisoning at the company picnic, and I proceeded to get sick in the parking lot of the Saratoga National State Park. Good times.

Scamp is whining while I type this, so vacation must be over! Back to work!

The Sad Truth (in my house)

To see even more hilarious ones just like this one, check out Indexed.

On The Road Again….

Tomorrow, we leave for Albany and Saratoga for the weekend. The kids are really excited. The Hubby and I are really excited. For different reasons, of course:

Scamp: excited because there will be a bounce house at the company party, and he loves him a bounce house!

Spiff: excited because he gets to miss Friday and Monday from school, and he already has the work made up from it!

Mom and Dad: excited because we get to do this

This week I have been a little light on the posts because I have been at an inservice for my new job that has to do with education. I’m very excited about it, and I’ll tell you more as things happen.

So, see you next Tuesday! Have a great weekend, and I’ll bring back photos to share!
I promise!

Have a wonderful weekend!