Sally Forth Must Read My Blog…

Here’s the proof.

And Sally, here’s some inspiration.

Now the two will be three. I just made SoccerDude his very own Wario costume. Think same style, just with a yellow hat and turtleneck.

Photos to come!

What are your wee ones (or you!) going to be for Halloween?

Whomever said "Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Flattery" Never Imagined This Senario

If you are reading this via the Bitacle website, please click here.

You will now be forwarded to the real website, which you should bookmark and check back often.

I’m much more friendlier when you visit me using this link. Not so much when you visit me from Bitacle. Basically, you get my best side by using the non-bitacle doorway, and everyone likes to take a good photo, wouldn’t you agree?

Now, I need to correct this. Any suggestions?

I mean, besides wanting to throttle the owner of that wretched website. I’ve already considered that one, but I like Mocha Momma’s example much better.

Besides, any story time that includes using the middle finger is a-ok with me. At least on the internet.

Memo to Bitacle: Only The Hubby and I get to profit off our life story or our kids. None of us has gone to jail, so we can still do this legally. You can’t. So stop it. Now.

Why You Should Wait Until The Afternoon of Halloween to Decide Your 4 Year Old’s Halloween Costume

A week ago, he wanted to be this.

Now, he wants to be Darth Vader.

Thanks, Cartoon Network, for showing the commercial that changed his mind. Thanks a whole lot.

The boy will be Mario.

Because that darn costume won’t fit me.

Halloween Has Got Nothing On My Scaring Skills

Is there any other mother out there who turns on the TV to watch LOST, sees a split screen of a rocket launch going on RIGHTNOW at Cape Canaveral, and screams to her two boys (who are already tucked into bed) to HURRY! GET UP! and run out the front door and not tell them why?

Anyone? No?

So I shouldn’t be surprised when Spiff comes tearing out of his room in only his underwear and runs out the front door and asks if I have set the house on fire?

I also shouldn’t be surprised at his underwhelming sigh when he sees the reason I rousted him out of bed? Even though he likes rocket launches?

I think he was hoping I set the house on fire. Sort of.

Hey! Ever try to show a four year old that a moving ball of orange in a night sky rising right in front of you and have said child look straight up and ask “Where is it? I don’t see it.”

Yeah, me neither. I was just curious.

Didn’t I Just See You People a Few (Short!) Hours Ago?

Today was dentist day. We LOVE this day here at Casa de CrazedMommy, it goes right up there with haircut day, or root canal day, or the ever popular colonoscopy day. And this time we did it up in grand style.

I was referred to a local pediatric dentist by our family dentist because Scamp wanted no part of the nice ladies, soothing music and cute birdhouse distractions of his office. He pretty much screamed his disapproval from the moment we went back to the exam rooms. So they kindly and politely told us to get the hell out and don’t bring him back until he’s in his 30′s. On the way out, they handed us a card for this really great pediatric dentist who was new to the area. “Go check her out” they said. “We beg you”.

So we did.

I decided that since Spiff was also due for a cleaning, I’d just take both of them at the same time. Mind you, our family dentist had no problem with Spiff; he enjoys his stories very much. The screaming one could go; the storyteller could stay. I had no problem with that per se, but I thought that if Spiff went with his brother, it would provide an example and moral support.

Thinking is WAY overrated, let me tell you.

Spiff didn’t even go back with Scamp in to see the dentist. Apparently, I wasn’t invited either so Spiff and I waited out in the lobby for Scamp to be done. This dentist was smart. She must have had soundproofing put in the walls, because I didn’t hear a peep. It was heavenly.

I know some tears must have been shed, however, because he came out with his eyes a little on the red side. He was happy though, and got to pick out something from the toy box. As a kid, I loved the doctor’s toy box. Between that and the trip to some fast food restaurant as a treat after any kind of doctor’s appointment was the makings of a great day. Especially since I was also missing school for said appointments, just like the boys were today. Spiff reminded me that it could be inconveniencing the teachers if I took him in now, so he should really miss all of school today.

I laughed. Loudly and with abandon for several minutes.

In my scheduling brilliance, I scheduled their dentist appointments this morning, and my beauty appointment at noon. That didn’t factor in travel time to both schools, a slight oversight.

Once the boys had selected their toys, the staff presented me with my bill. I always wondered why my mom was not happy when we’d leave appointments, even when I had been on my best behavior. I didn’t understand why she never looked happy. It made no sense.

Oh, but it does now.

The kind lady behind the counter informed me that the lovely dentist who cleaned my son’s teeth (and who is now showing them off to all and sundry) doesn’t take our insurance. That’ll be $268.00, please.

Wha? You did the last time, yes?

Well, no. They charged me $45 for Scamp’s first visit, a look see. I paid it, and thought that insurance covered the rest.

(Hi, Honey!!! Freaking out? Everyone, wave to The Hubby, who’s now reading this and turning apoplectic. Shall I put him out of his misery?)

The good news is, Our dental plan will allow us to go to any dentist, including this one. The bad news is, I have to pay up front, and the insurance will reimburse me one they approve the claim, etc. Basically, I have to do the paperwork, and I’m out almost $300 until they process and cut me a check. Annoying, but totally doable. The forms are currently waiting to be picked up in my mailbox. I’m a fast worker when I’m out some coin.

The not so good news is when my son fell and hurt his mouth awhile back, it shocked one of his front teeth, and the root is dying. Since it’s a baby tooth, it’s not so bad because another one will grow in and replace it, but it does make a lot more sense now because Scamp has complained about his teeth hurting him sometimes. Spiff is going to need some covering thing on two of his teeth. They paint it on. I should be relieved, at least the dreaded braces word was never uttered. My neighbor’s son isn’t so lucky there.

So, I took them both to their schools, and went to my beauty appointment. I then basically got home just in time to get the wee one off the school bus. Now I have to go play Lego Star Wars 2 with him. We’ve unlocked Lego City. I’m going to have to pry the controller out of his hands to eat dinner.

I need a nap.

Super Mario and Luigi – Ready to Recieve the Candy Corn!

Pictured left to right: Luigi and Super Mario, Played by Spiff and Scamp.

So Much To Say, So Much To Say

Well, I dropped off the radar for a bit. Here’s what’s roaming around in my mind, bullet style:

• In the past week, our local news has brought to our attention some savory characters. One is a coach at a local Christian Academy who is now in jail because 8 years ago, he had sex with one of his students at another Christian school and videotaped it. The student finally came forward because she didn’t want him to “do this to another girl”. The other is his brother. The coach is now living with one of his former players, a 20 year old girl.

• A 5 year old severely Autistic boy drowned in an un-fenced in retention pond near his grandparents home Sunday night when he wandered away from his mother while she unloaded groceries from the car.
• Trenton Duckett is still missing.
• Last week, Spiff and I went to the doctor for a medicine management appointment. I’m still waiting for the actual prescriptions so I can fill them. It’s pretty bad when even Spiff realizes he’s wigging out.
• I have this strange rash that shows up on different parts of my body; but mostly on my legs and arms. I’m systematically scratching the skin off my arms and legs. My allergy appointment tomorrow can’t come fast enough.
• I’m starting to get jobs in our local school system. I’m excited and frightened all at the same time.
• It’s quickly becoming apparent to me that Scamp is beginning to exhibit similar characteristics of his older brother in classroom situations. I’m not really surprised, but it makes me all too aware that my battles are far from over if I keep him in his current school once he starts kindergarten. Here’s hoping the magnet or charter school has openings for next year…..

Well, I can’t type and scratch at the same time. Will share more tomorrow!

At Least He Asked?

This morning, before school, Spiff and his friend SoccerDude were discussing some YoMomma jokes, and the topic veered over to bad words and what each of them are allowed and not allowed to say. Spiff has been given approval to say the word “crap”, because as far as bad words go, this one is pretty mild. Not to mention, in middle school I have heard many kids say much worse than crap.

Much, much worse….

So Spiff began asking which words were okay at this juncture.

Spiff: Is the word hell okay?
Me: At home, I’ll allow it, but not to a grownup, and not out in public.
Spiff: Okay. What about the S word.
Me: You mean shit?
Spiff: Yes. Can I say that one?
Me: No, not yet. You need to grow into that one. Besides, most of the time that word isn’t really appropriate.
Spiff: Yeah, but you say it all the time!
Me: Yeah, mom isn’t really appropriate most of the time.
Spiff: Can I drop the F-bomb?
Me: Uh, no. That one you DEFINITELY need to grow into.
Spiff: When will that be?
Me: When you’re thirty.
Spiff: Man!!!

Why can’t they stay young and innocent, and hilariously funny, like this:

Let’s Talk About Sex, Baybee

So, what did you do today? I’m guessing it isn’t what I did….

I spent this morning at a seminar called Sex in the City, and it was done by our UCF-CARD office. Nothing like starting out your day discussing things of a sexual nature in regards to PDD-NOS, Autistic and Asperger’s Syndrome children.

Not to mention, I didn’t get my cuppa coffee until after the seminar. The topics kept me awake though, fear not.

Believe it or not, this is a very important topic for our Spectrum kids, and needs to be addressed earlier than neuro-typical kids for several reasons. First off, kids on the spectrum seem to show signs of developing into puberty earlier than their neuro-typical peers. This is huge, because not only are they trying to function normally in society, but they encounter one more obstacle just that much sooner!

The other thing that is important is that many schools (check with your school board for your area) teach sex education in the later grades (7th-8th-9th), and by then, our kids have already been attempting to deal with puberty for a few years now. Also, if your child is in a self-contained special needs classroom, chances are that they will not even be taught any type of sex education in the school setting; this is because schools are not required to teach sex ed to special needs children.

Until today I did not know that. I have to admit I was rather surprised.

This is because people and research from days back yonder when we used to light the house with a fire pit in the floor and men thunked women on the head with a big club and took them back to their caves seemed to claim that special needs people are asexual, and therefore don’t need to learn about sex – they won’t be having any – so, phew! one less job the school has to perform.

Meanwhile, babies are having babies. Not that this is the fault of the special needs community, mind you, but it does speak to our idiocy as people if we overlook a portion of the population, don’t teach them about sex in the biggest social experiment in the world (school); and then scratch our heads in wonder why teen pregnancies are through the roof. I’m just saying.

So, if you have a special needs child – scratch that, ANY child on the threshold of teenagerhood, you owe it to them to sit down in a non-threatening way and have a “chat” about sex, sexuality, masturbation (male and female), hygiene, STD’s, and what boundaries and guidelines about these topics should be in place that are comfortable for everyone in the family. If Aunt Rhoda isn’t comfortable talking about sex, she’s not going to be a helpful source of information. If mom and dad are up for the challenge and want to be the go-to guys, make sure that you have educated yourself about the latest vernacular and can be proactive and not reactive. Allow your child to tell you what they may already know. Ask open ended questions and let them fill in the blanks. Yes, what they say may surprise you, but it’s what they don’t say to you as puberty really kicks in that you want to know or even be privy to when the time comes.

I’ll state here that when I sat down with Spiff tonight, his answers surprised me. In a good way. I was shocked to discover that many of the issues I thought he would have difficulty grasping the concepts of he not only had, but provided me, on his own, the answers and examples. I was expecting things to go pear shaped, and quickly. What ended up happening was we had a calm, honest, insightful and delightful discussion about sex where no one got flustered, embarrassed, or angry.

It was a proud parental moment. You deserve to have one too.

Things That Drive Me Bananas #621

Sitting in a doctor’s office waiting room, waiting to be seen, after having arrived ON TIME, for more that 30 minutes.

I waited in the waiting room longer than it took for my appointment.

Yes, this is the same doctor’s office that did this to me.

Apparently the receptionist felt I had nothing better to do today. I informed her I did, I had an appointment to make sure Spiff wasn’t going to need dentures before he needed braces. He’s taken to pulling out any tooth that is a little bit loose in his mouth. After the 3rd one of these, I had no choice but to give the staff at our dentist’s office something to laugh about by bringing him in and asking is all this teeth pulling okay.

Not only is it okay, but they prefer that he does it instead of them…..Oh, and there are 4 more teeth ready to come out anytime now.

Great….

I told him to pace himself on the extractions. You definitely don’t want to have to gum your pizza.