Let’s Talk About Sex, Baybee
October 3, 2006
So, what did you do today? I’m guessing it isn’t what I did….
I spent this morning at a seminar called Sex in the City, and it was done by our UCF-CARD office. Nothing like starting out your day discussing things of a sexual nature in regards to PDD-NOS, Autistic and Asperger’s Syndrome children.
Not to mention, I didn’t get my cuppa coffee until after the seminar. The topics kept me awake though, fear not.
Believe it or not, this is a very important topic for our Spectrum kids, and needs to be addressed earlier than neuro-typical kids for several reasons. First off, kids on the spectrum seem to show signs of developing into puberty earlier than their neuro-typical peers. This is huge, because not only are they trying to function normally in society, but they encounter one more obstacle just that much sooner!
The other thing that is important is that many schools (check with your school board for your area) teach sex education in the later grades (7th-8th-9th), and by then, our kids have already been attempting to deal with puberty for a few years now. Also, if your child is in a self-contained special needs classroom, chances are that they will not even be taught any type of sex education in the school setting; this is because schools are not required to teach sex ed to special needs children.
Until today I did not know that. I have to admit I was rather surprised.
This is because people and research from days back yonder when we used to light the house with a fire pit in the floor and men thunked women on the head with a big club and took them back to their caves seemed to claim that special needs people are asexual, and therefore don’t need to learn about sex – they won’t be having any – so, phew! one less job the school has to perform.
Meanwhile, babies are having babies. Not that this is the fault of the special needs community, mind you, but it does speak to our idiocy as people if we overlook a portion of the population, don’t teach them about sex in the biggest social experiment in the world (school); and then scratch our heads in wonder why teen pregnancies are through the roof. I’m just saying.
So, if you have a special needs child – scratch that, ANY child on the threshold of teenagerhood, you owe it to them to sit down in a non-threatening way and have a “chat” about sex, sexuality, masturbation (male and female), hygiene, STD’s, and what boundaries and guidelines about these topics should be in place that are comfortable for everyone in the family. If Aunt Rhoda isn’t comfortable talking about sex, she’s not going to be a helpful source of information. If mom and dad are up for the challenge and want to be the go-to guys, make sure that you have educated yourself about the latest vernacular and can be proactive and not reactive. Allow your child to tell you what they may already know. Ask open ended questions and let them fill in the blanks. Yes, what they say may surprise you, but it’s what they don’t say to you as puberty really kicks in that you want to know or even be privy to when the time comes.
I’ll state here that when I sat down with Spiff tonight, his answers surprised me. In a good way. I was shocked to discover that many of the issues I thought he would have difficulty grasping the concepts of he not only had, but provided me, on his own, the answers and examples. I was expecting things to go pear shaped, and quickly. What ended up happening was we had a calm, honest, insightful and delightful discussion about sex where no one got flustered, embarrassed, or angry.
It was a proud parental moment. You deserve to have one too.
October 8th, 2006 at 7:01 pm
This is sneadwoman — I can’t remember my blogger login.
I cannot friggin’ believe this! Dude is already headon into puberty and is thinks my boobs are … veeerry interesting. I am covering this stuff at home, but you would think someone would give you a heads up, you know?
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