Open Letter to My Potential New Neighbors
April 19, 2007
(or, a hate mail to the builders of the new housing development being built directly behind my house)
I’m sorry, but I’m probably going to hate you. It’s not you, it’s me.
I’m sure you will be nice people. There’s a good chance if you have children, our kids will play with them. We’ll probably, in time, have you over for drinks and a barbecue in our backyard.
But right now, I hate you. This is because in order to make way for your new home, trees need to come down, roads need to be paved, and a small, man-made lake needs to be dug so you can have water to gaze upon out of your lovely windows.
I’m very excited for you. I’m not, however, excited for me.
Not because I don’t get to enjoy that lake, or ride on those roads; or even for the trees. It’s because every morning, even on weekends, the plethora of earth-moving machines rumble to life and shake my house like it is a maraca.
Nothing makes you feel safer than hearing and feeling your house shaking while you are in the shower, and wondering if you are going to be standing naked, wet and soapy while your house is in rubble around you.
It’s not how I like to spend my morning, let me tell you.
I especially didn’t enjoy going out to my garage to go to work and find that the machines shaking my house had made a paint can fall of my paint shelf and explode underneath my van, leaving two large paint puddles I got to put on my tires as I backed out of my driveway.
Let’s just say that there is now a path on the ground leading straight to my door. I should thank you, it probably makes direction giving a little easier. I doesn’t, however, go with the paint scheme of my house.
Oh, and I also have congealed paint to somehow get off the garage floor. Any suggestions?
So hopefully, when I do get to finally meet you, you are cool. Or, you have a paint scraper. I’m not picky.
Sincerely,
Me, an angry neighbor.
April 24th, 2007 at 12:40 am
ew, sorry. My neighbor woke me up this morning with a chainsaw. Not the way I like to spend my morning either.
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April 25th, 2007 at 2:46 pm
Poor You….
And somehow I do not think you will ever truly enjoy their man made pool as it will bring back shivers to paints exploding and grounds shaking…
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April 27th, 2007 at 12:57 am
Aww, that’s sad. But I hope that the neighbors turn out to be so great, it makes all the pain and sadness go away!!!
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April 27th, 2007 at 6:23 pm
Ugh. That blows. Hope things look a little brighter soon!
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