Seven Days and Counting

Dear Student,

Can I have a word with you? I mean, when you are not screaming at me, or the teacher, or your fellow classmates. I’ll wait. Really. I have PLENTY of time to spare for you. That’s because my current job has shifted, almost imperceptibly, from working with a child who can’t speak to one who screams, throws chairs, hits, sticks his tongue out at EVERYTHING and EVERYONE, and climbs walls and destroys school property. Did I mention that I spend more time each day chasing after you for your safety than working with the child that requires it in his IEP?

Did I mention I don’t like to run? And, did you see the high-heeled shoes I was wearing? Betcha didn’t think I could run that fast in them, did you? Must have been a rather unpleasant surprise for you.

Believe me, I understand. I really do. This schoolwork thing is HARD. I know. I was a student once, and Hey! Guess what? I will be again in the fall, so I GET IT. Seriously. But sweetheart, if you don’t do the work, you don’t get the grades, and then…you don’t pass. You stay behind.

We both know you are WAY too smart for that. Even with all the behavioral issues, you are wicked smart. So it is because of that I have to work with you, each day, so you can learn and grow and become the grown-up you can be; you need to be. Because that is how it should be.

So with that in mind, we have seven days left together until the summer begins. I’m asking (short of begging) that for these last few days we have left that you don’t run out of the classroom just because you don’t like something. I’m also asking the screaming, the yelling, the attitude take a seven day break. I’m tired of the chain reaction you create, and it breaks my heart to see you like this. You cancel out all the good work you do each day with all the chaos you create. I know we’ve had this conversation, and I’m hoping that if I have this word with you, here, between us, that you will finally hear what I have to say and try to make better choices.

Please.

Love,

Your Beleaguered (and Exhausted) Teacher Assistant

The Sounds of Silence, but Still Screaming

My experiment has ended, and by “experiment” I mean that I actually have some time today to finally post to my blog.

Truthfully though, I have had so much to say, but so many things I can’t share for so many reasons that I just decided to not say anything at all. That was very hard for me, because if you are one of the lucky few that knows me in real life, I have a very hard time keeping quiet. About anything.

So I’ll tease you with some of the things for now and hopefully write more about them later:

• I’d love to tell you about the student that is in my class that makes me sometimes question why I want to become a Special Education Teacher at all. This student makes me equal parts angry at him and sad for him all in the span of a few seconds. Angry because he has taken up throwing chairs and sharp pencils at us and sad because he is so manic, you know that some of this is way out of his control. Makes going to work every day quite the adventure.

• Living with a 17 year-old girl has also been quite the experience. I’m feeling the need to hold a seance and tell my mom how sorry I am for those formulative teenage years where I drove her nuts with excuses why I couldn’t do things, the constant attitude (partly cranky with a chance of moody), and the general teenage girl dramas that are the end of the world at any given moment. Don’t get me wrong, I love my niece. She is growing into a beautiful young lady, both inside and out. I have really enjoyed spending time with her. However, I can definitely now understand why my mother had that look on her face, you know the quizzical “Who are you and what have you done with my child?” look.

  It’s been great practice for the other teenager in the house that might not make it to his 17th year if he doesn’t lose this new attitude. Me no likey. At all.

• My .02 on the whole “Mommybloggers are ruining their kids lives with their blogs and pimping out their kids” kerfluffle: My kids, both of them, LOVE my blog, and fully understand what I’m doing and why I do this. They have reaped many benefits from mommy’s little project, and as far as I am concerned if you are a viewer of reality television in ANY form (and yes, DWTS counts as well as Real World) then you are also part of this too. Glass Houses and stones people. Where I differ is this is not necessarily a love letter to my children in the sense that I want them to read it and get weepy. I want them to understand that parenting is hard. It’s not easy. There is no right answer. There is no pat wrong answer either. It’s just hard, yet rewarding work. Dr. Spock never really said that in his books to me, and when I’m gone I want my children to still use my examples and advice if they ever need it.

  Plus, I suck at Scrapbooking. So here you go.

• I still need to finish my Tennessee posts. We had a blast. I fell down a slope on my butt. Good times.
• Scamp lost his first tooth. He’s working on his second. They seem to be falling out just as fast as they came in.
• After 36 years on the Planet Earth, I find out that I have 7 cavities. I have had 4 of them filled. Two of which were just this morning.

  I hate it when Novocaine wears off.

• Finally, I’ll leave you with this:

Cute, No?