Still Here

After NaBloPoMo, I usually take a few days off to collect myself, reconnect with the family, and just step away from the computer for a few days. It helps me get focused again, and with the Holidays to prepare for, any little bit helps.

I’ve been a little wonky lately. Things are happening around me that I can’t control; I shouldn’t want to control. I should watch them ebb and flow around me, grateful to not be swept under the raging waters. But I’m not like that. I like to know what’s around the corner. I like to plan. I am generally a To-Do away from finishing one of the many lists I have going at home, at work, wherever. I’m not good at just stepping back and just letting it be.

I need to learn to do that. I need to let go and see what happens. I need to trust that the right thing will happen and it will all work out as it is supposed to. That my worrying is for nothing. That there is a plan and that this waiting that I’m doing – that we are doing – is unnecessary, and that my life – our lives – will finally return to normal.

Whatever that is.