Revenge is a dish best served smokin’ hawt!
August 1, 2009
It took me all summer to earn enough money for those damn jeans.
Seriously. This was back in the 80′s, before the robber baron babysitters of today jacked up the price of babysitting that makes me consider robbing a bank every time I go out on a date with my husband. $10 an hour? Say WHAT? I’d better come home to a cleaned house as well. A REALLY cleaned house.
Does that ever happen? No.
Anyway.
So. Summer. 1980-something. I babysat my ass off to buy a pair of jeans. But not just any pair of jeans. Oh, no.
A pair of Gloria Vanderbilt jeans.
Back then that was what you wanted to wear; had to have. Either Gloria Vanderbilt or Jordache. If you had big bucks you had Calvin Klein jeans.
I didn’t have big bucks.
Quite the contrary. While other girls went shopping at the Limited, Contempo Casuals, 5-7-9 or Rave, I got most of my clothes from JC Penney or Sears.
It was because my mom had credit cards at those places. And it would take months for her to pay off my clothes. Many times she was still paying for clothes after I had already outgrown them.
Needless to say, neither of those stores sold Gloria Vanderbilt jeans.
So I scrimped. I saved. And just before my sixth grade year started, I was the proud owner of a pair of Gloria Vanderbilt jeans. I treated them like liquid gold. I washed them carefully, and I hung them up.
What teenager hangs up their jeans? Seriously?
____________________
The first time I wore them was to the roller skating rink. Paired them with a top I can no longer remember, but I knew I looked good. I hoped a certain someone might also think the same way. When it came time for the racing around the rink, I took my spot. I was good at this, and I had a feeling…
As I skated past the finish line, and I won, that certain someone was looking right at me, calling me over. As I skated over, exhausted from the race but thrilled he finally noticed me, I didn’t notice her foot in my path. It vanished almost as quickly as it arrived, but the intentions were there.
As I fell to the ground, all my weight fell onto my knee. I collapsed onto the rink with a thud and immediately people rushed over. I was lifted off the rink and whisked into an office; placed on a table and the paramedics came to asses the damage. One came towards me with a rather large pair of scissors. When I asked what he was doing with them he replied “I’m going to cut your jeans so we can look at your knee.”
Um, WHAT?!?! Cut MY jeans? Oh Hells NO!
I cried. I begged. I pleaded to please just let me take them off. Don’t cut them! Pretty please with sugar on it, DON’T CUT OFF MY GLORIA VANDERBILT JEANS!
My pleas fell on deaf ears. The sound of the cutting into that denim is something I will always remember.
I never got to wear those jeans again.
____________________
Fast forward thirty-some-odd years later. I’m shopping for jeans for my trip to Chicago, and on the rack I find a pair of Gloria Vanderbilt jeans in my size. And costing a fraction of what I paid for my pair back in the ’80′s. When I try them on, the fit perfectly. I buy them and pack them in my suitcase.
Friday night, I wear them. With these:
I paired them with a halter top and those shoes.
You want to know the best part?
I get to wear this pair of Gloria Vanderbilts again.
HAH! Take THAT, jealous middle school girl and scissor-happy paramedic!
August 1st, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Oh dude… I seriously just screamed in anguish of that awful paramedic that would dare cut open a pair of Gloria Vanderbilts! I mean, seriously!! I never had a pair, but I did eventually get a pair of Jordache. That was as high as I got in the jeans.
Now, I’m just hoping I can finally afford to wrap myself up in a Diane Von Furstenberg dress! Ahhh… childhood dreams, alive and well… and now possibly affordable.
.-= Sugar Jones´s last blog ..Sisterhood of the Traveling Bloggers =-.
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Shash Reply:
August 1st, 2009 at 5:54 pm
I’m digging the affordable part. Makes the trauma of that experience just that much sweeter!!
xoxo
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August 1st, 2009 at 8:04 pm
And these days ,Glorias are available at Kohls Dept. Stores. Try Kohls.com when you know your size.
Were the paramedic-destroyed jeans not covered by insurance? Probably not, just your bad luck.
.-= Daisy´s last blog ..‘Tis the season: Packer Training Camp Season! =-.
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Shash Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 2:36 pm
I got mine at Ross, a discount clothing store that sells name brands. $12.99!
(totally said without regret or shame)
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August 1st, 2009 at 8:19 pm
I was 15. His name was Paul. I bought Jordache jeans, to impress him. I landed him. For 2 mos, I dated a 19 yr old. And I swear it was the magic of the jeans.
I feel for you, my friend. And you look hawt in that picture! I loved the top.
T.
.-= Tina´s last blog ..If Friday night’s all right for fighting, what’s Thursday night for? (yes, it’s another BlogHer post) =-.
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Shash Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 2:40 pm
You looked hawt too!! And your SHOES!!! You are my new “Shoe Guru”.
Really sad the things we will do for the males of the world, huh?
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August 1st, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Heh. My obsession? Came in the form of Calvin Klines. Clines?
Been so long I forgot how to spell it.
I worked in a hotel cleaning up drunken puke to earn them.
They were worth every penny.
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Shash Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 2:48 pm
I wished for Calvin Klein jeans but never got them. I mean, if they were good enough for Brooke, no?
Bet you looked hawt, Mama!!
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August 2nd, 2009 at 8:42 am
This is a great story. There’s loss, pain, redemption, and a happy ending!
.-= Avitable´s last blog ..Contest: Lazy Sunday is BACK! =-.
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Shash Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Awww, thanks!!! You’re awesome!
Now pass the popcorn!
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August 2nd, 2009 at 1:18 pm
my god, those shoes are hot.
.-= kdiddy´s last blog ..what would betty draper do? =-.
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Shash Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Aren’t they? And they hurt like hell too! Even WITH the cushioning! I’m gonna call in reinforcements, because those shoes are too hawt to NOT wear, right?
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August 2nd, 2009 at 5:04 pm
So sorry about the jeans, but I can’t get past the part where you mentioned how much your babysitter charges. Around these parts, they charge $15 per hour and um, clean house!? Yeah, right. I’m lucky if they even clean up after my child. But back to the jeans – you definitely looked hot, especially with those shoes!!
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Shash Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 2:45 pm
No, they DON’T clean my house. AT ALL. But they totally SHOULD for that price! I did, and I was paid WAY LESS!
You were pretty smokin’ too, Mama!
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August 3rd, 2009 at 5:22 pm
Loved this story!
BTW- It was great meeting you at Blogher (at the session with tanis & anissa). Email me if you want to talk!
Maya
.-= Maya´s last blog ..Celebs find me engaging =-.
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August 3rd, 2009 at 6:01 pm
OH my! The pain, the horror! Girlfriend those shoes so rock! I feel the need to shoe shop prior to Type-A now.
.-= Shellie´s last blog ..Blogher ‘09 – My Eye-Fi ‘d Whrrl stories =-.
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August 5th, 2009 at 6:48 pm
And you looked hot as HELL in those jeans, too. I know because I – and everyone else who saw you – told you. And we didn’t even appreciate the magic of the jeans at the time.
.-= Miss Britt´s last blog ..Where is HGTV and/or Jesus The Carpenter when you need them? =-.
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August 16th, 2009 at 10:03 am
Those are MEOW MAMA shoes!!!!!
.-= Poppy´s last blog ..I like colors, they are colorful =-.
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