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March 18, 2010
So like any good mother (blogger?) does after being gone for awhile, I have dusted off the equipment, upgraded the surroundings, and so here I am.
A lot has changed.
I still work in education, but I’m planning a return to school to get my own degree in Education. Next week I go find out how I can do that without eating from of a can of Pork and Beans for the remainder of my life.
I’m still a mom so that hasn’t changed. Phew.
I’m growing and learning and changing things about me. Some that needed to be changed, and some that I’m going to have to change due to circumstances. As the days progress some of these things get easier. Notice I didn’t say less painful, because WHOOO BOY, the pain. It’s harsh. But I suppose all of this is necessary. So I trudge onward. Now, I WILL take steps backward. It’s inevitable. But the primary momentum is forward. Always forward.
Even if I fall sometimes. Or often.
My life is changing. Who I am is changing. The life I have lead for sixteen years is changing. It doesn’t matter about the hows or the whys, because those things are not going to alter the outcome. The outcome will be the same.
I am in the process of getting divorced.
And that is why I have stepped back from blogging, and why I will be scarce for some more time. The details are not up for public consumption. Crazed Mommy is in Mama Bear mode. It is what it is, and while it isn’t sunshine and roses and rainbows, at some point there is hope we will at least see the sunshine, smell some roses, and enjoy a rainbow or two down the road.
I have hope for that, anyway. Time will tell.
So for now, I’m sifting through the wreckage, seeing what’s salvageable, holding close a few things to my heart, and preparing to Garage Sale the rest. The process in some ways is cathartic; and in others brutally, excruciatingly painful.
Very, very necessary.
So there it is.
I’m getting divorced.
and I think know I’m going to be okay.